There's no other relationship where replacing pride with humility is more important than in marriage. Pride keeps conflict unresolved. It keeps us from admitting we're wrong. It keeps us from being willing to see there are other good ways to do things than the way we think is the only right way. Pride separates, hurts, and even destroys.
Humility forms the core of a healthy marriage. Humility helps bring resolve to conflict. It allows us to take responsibility for our attitudes and actions, no matter how big or small our contributions are to the problem. Humility allows us to see that other people have good ideas. Humility unites, heals, and builds up. If you need to replace pride with humility in your heart, you'll find one or more of these strategies helpful:
Own your own stuff. Even if your spouse is 90 percent wrong and you are only 10 percent wrong, apologize for your 10 percent and ask for forgiveness—regardless of whether your spouse owns his part or not. You and I are only responsible for the condition of our hearts and our obedience to God.
Look at what God says about pride. If you go to youversion.com and search the word pride, you'll find that more than sixty verses deal with pride. I would say that makes it a big deal. These verses from the book of Proverbs help us understand why we need to deal with pride: "I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech" (8:13), "When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom" (11:2), "Where there is strife, there is pride, but wisdom is found in those who take advice" (13:10), "A fool's mouth lashes out with pride, but the lips of the wise protect them" (14:3), and "Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall" (16:18).
Practice humility. Humility comes naturally to some people, but usually it needs to be learned. Start by deferring to your husband when something really doesn't matter. For instance, if he suggests you go to a Mexican restaurant for dinner when you were thinking Italian, just agree to Mexican with a joyful heart. With humility, we accept our place as one person in a marriage of two or one person in a family of five. When we recognize that we are no more important than anyone else, it allows us to replace pride with humility. . . .
If you are married, thank God right now. There are millions of moms doing this motherhood thing alone. Thank God for your husband's strengths, and work to affirm him for something each and every day. Don't let the Perfection Infection and unrealistic expectations rob you of what you do have.
There are no perfect husbands—just imperfect men who make mistakes along the way and give you the opportunity to learn to love in ways you never knew you could.
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