"One whose heart is corrupt does not prosper; one whose tongue is perverse falls into trouble."
-Proverbs 17:20
I'm going to share with you something I did that was so embarrassing. I bought this book, "On the Road," by Jack Kerouac, one of the most famous books of the twentieth century. I was with friends when someone asked me, "Have you read the book 'On the Road'?'"
I had the book, but I hadn't yet read it. Nevertheless, I said, "Yes. It's a great book."
When he asked, "What's it about?" I proceeded to make up all sorts of stuff as a little bead of sweat rolled down my face.
What made it worse was that one of my closest friends, Ander, was standing beside me, and it's his favorite book. Smirking the whole time I lied, instead of embarrassing me there, he was nice enough to pull me aside to say, "You've never read 'On the Road,' have you?"
I said, "No, but I want to." I was so embarrassed. I wanted to uphold the image that I was well read. I wanted everyone to think that I was really smart, and so I lied.
The lies and the deception come from a deeper place - a place of woundedness, a place of insecurity, a place in our subconscious, a fear of being rejected, of being on the outside, and a desire to be wanted, or needed, or valued by others. It's a desire to be on the A-list, to be everybody's favorite. And that's a heavy burden that God does not want any of us to carry.
Prayer: Dear Lord, I am wounded. I fear rejection and embarrassment because of my imperfection. Please help me to find my sense of acceptance only in your perfect love. Amen.
Devotion: What wound have you experienced that has caused you the greatest insecurity? How has that affected your relationships with others?
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