Friend to Friend
Steve and I got married when we were both still in college. He was entering his fourth year of dental school, and I was just a few hours shy of completing my degree. The last year of school held many important decisions for us, such as where (move the next sentence up) Steve would set up his practice. Dentists don't tend to move about, so this was an important, probably life-long decision for both of us.
All year we prayed, researched, and weighed various opportunities and options. Finally, in April of that year, we felt God calling us to Pineville, North Carolina, right outside of Charlotte. A dentist there was looking for a young associate and the pieces of the puzzle began falling into place. We had prayed. We had fasted. We had listened. We felt that this was God's answer for our lives. It was a big deal.
So after graduation, we packed our meager belongings and moved to Charlotte. After setting up house in our tiny apartment, Steve went to meet with the doctor to finalize the work schedule and management particulars.
"Steve," I've been thinking about it," the doctor began, "and I don't think this is such a good idea after all. I've changed my mind."
He extended his hand to my twenty-five-year-old stunned husband and said, "Good luck to you, son."
I was surprised when Steve came home much earlier than I expected. "What are you doing home?" I asked.
"Sit down," he managed, "You're not going to believe this."
Steve told me the story and I was shocked. I was disappointed. A host of raw emotions collided with questions for God. How could You do this? How could we have been so wrong? Didn't we hear You correctly? We prayed. We fasted. We wanted nothing more than to do what You wanted us to do, where You wanted us to do it. Now here we sit in a big city, with a big student loan, and no job. Now what are we supposed to do?
This was a lover's quarrel between me and God, my friend, and guess whose voice was the loudest? I felt as though I had kept my part of the bargain by following all the right steps and saying all the right words, but God had not kept His.
Somehow, we've come up with the absurd idea that God owes us. That He is obliged to reveal Himself in a way that is acceptable…that fosters belief. If we do A and B, then He is obliged to do C. He's not. One glance at Job chapters 38-41 puts my silly demands in proper perspective. "Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation?" God questioned Job. "Who marked off its dimensions? Who shut up the sea behind doors when it burst forth from the womb, when I made the clouds its garment and wrapped it in thick darkness? Have you ever given orders to the morning or shown the dawn its place? (Job 38:4, 8-9, 12). (If you haven't read those chapters lately, they are a great reminder of God's magnificent glory.)
This career setback seems rather petty now as I hear of the tragic losses from hundreds of women who write to me every day. But I have discovered that the accumulations of petty disappointments tend to undermine our faith like little termites gnawing away at the foundation of our lives. They can leave us doubting whether or not God is really concerned about the everyday details of our lives. A lava flow of doubt covers over our faith and we wonder, why should I pray at all?
Our limited vision doesn't allow us to see how God is working behind the scenes in our lives. But we must believe that He is.
Each and every trial is an opportunity to trust Him more. Jean-Pierre de Caussade said it well: "You would be very ashamed if you knew what experiences you call setbacks, upheavals, pointless disturbances, and tedious annoyances really are. You would realize that your complaints about them are nothing more nor less than blasphemies—though that never occurs to you. Nothing happens to you except by the will of God, and yet [God's] beloved children curse it because they do not know it for what it is." His ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts higher than our thoughts (Isaiah 55:9).
Join me tomorrow as I share what happened in the months following what we felt was a setback.
Let's Pray
Lord, help me to remember that You always have a plan. When life takes an unexpected turn, help me to remember that it is not unexpected to You. I'm holding on to Your hand, and going around the next corner with You.In Jesus' Name, Amen.
Part 2
Today's Truth His ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts higher than our thoughts, (Isaiah 55:9 NIV).
Friend to Friend
If it were up to me, I would have written some stories differently. I would have a little girl who would be twenty-one years old this year. Carol's son would not be in prison. Linda's twenty-year-old daughter would not be a quadriplegic because of a car crash at a tollbooth when she was a toddler. Barbara's daughter would not be bipolar. Patty's twenty-one-year-old daughter would not have died in a car accident. Jennifer's husband would not have died of a brain tumor. If I had been writing the story.
But I'm so glad I'm not the author of those stories. Each and every one of these friends have ministries that impact thousands upon thousands of women all over the world. God has turned their pain into purpose, the misery into ministry, and their devastation into anointed messages of hope and restoration. Sudden glories fill and spill from each of these women's lives. Their love journeys of living and moving and having their being in Christ have led them through dark valleys and back out into the light on the other side. They practically glow with radiant wonder.
Difficult times are pregnant with glory moments just waiting to be birthed in the lives of those willing to labor through the pain. The key is to not allow bitterness and anger to make our hearts infertile to God's gifts. One way to avoid the darkening of the soul is by constant communication seasoned with thanksgiving—a continual acknowledgement of His presence.
Glory moments in difficult times are not dependent on our circumstances, but on our focus. Focus on the difficulty and God is difficult to see. Focus on God and glory seeps through the broken places. Difficulties become the bass notes of our life's song, adding a depth and beauty not found in a life that hovers about middle C.
I hope you read my last devotion…part one of this story. If not, you might want to go back and catch up.
Steve and I were terribly disappointed when we felt stranded in a new city with no job and no income. However, after the doctor changed his mind about Steve joining his practice, we never went hungry. I worked six days a week in various dental offices, and Steve filled in where he could. Then three months later, a situation opened up in a very desirable part of town with one of the city's most respected doctors. Steve was offered a wonderful situation in which to begin his career. If we had written out the best-case scenario ourselves, it would not have come close to what God provided. It was Ephesians 3:20 in lab-coat white: "Now to him who is able to do immeasurable more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us…"
After a few years, the part of town in which we originally planned to set up Steve's practice became a rundown thoroughfare, and that doctor faded away. However, Steve's practice continued to grow and grow and grow, until we had to move out on our own to expand. We experienced God's provision and protection through the twists and turns of uncertainty.
Well, why didn't God do that in the first place? Why didn't He lead us to that second opportunity when we did all that praying and seeking? He could have. But He is far more interested in developing our character than doling out a life of comfort and ease. C. S. Lewis notes: "If you think of this world as a place intended simply for our happiness, you find it quite intolerable: think of it as a place of training and correction and it's not so bad." We are ever the students. He is the teacher still. Trials rip away the flimsy fabric of self-sufficiency and become the raw material for God's miracles in our lives. And those miracles are a sudden glory.
A year later, I sat thanking God for His provision, and I was ashamed of myself. Ashamed that I had doubted God. Ashamed that I had fussed at Him. Ashamed that I had thrown a temper tantrum when I didn't get what I wanted when I wanted it…and I'm so glad I didn't.
"I'm so sorry God," I prayed. "Please forgive me."
That's O.K, He seemed to say. Happens all the time. Now, I want this to be a lesson for you. You've got to trust me.
Someone once said, "Faith means believing in advance what will only make sense in reverse." Oh that we would trust Him even if the twists and turns never make sense this side of heaven. That's what trusting God is all about. As we live and move and have our being in Him, the dark places are simply opportunities to trust that He knows the way—and the perfect time to hold on tight.
Let's Pray
Lord, I'll admit that sometimes I don't like how the story of my life is going. There are some chapters I would love to go back and edit. But the reality is, You use it all. Even fairy tales have villains, darks forests, and big bad wolves. But I know, oh I know, how my story ends. "And she lived happily in the hereafter with the Prince of Peace." I thank You for the storyline that gets me there.In Jesus' Name,
Amen.
Now It's Your Turn
Can you think of a time when it looked like the earth fell out from beneath your feet, and later you realized it was all in God's perfect plan for your better good?
What did Joseph say to his brothers who sold him into slavery and told their father he was dead? Check it out at Genesis 50:19-23.
What does that tell you about Joseph's perspective on the bad things that happened in his life?
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